Hallelujah
by engine47
Summary: The hour, day, week, month, year post Jack's death. Post season 4.


Chapter 1: The Hour Post Jack's Death.

**I. Time post Jack's death: 10 minutes**

"I can't thank you both enough for everything," Jack says. Tony wants and doesn't want to look up. He doesn't want to see his best friend walking away for the final time. He wants to see his best friend one last time before he walks away. He manages to nod, keeping his head down and intently staring at the steering wheel. Michelle doesn't say anything either and he knows she is feeling the same way.

"You gotta get going," Jack says. He looks at them with an apprehensive expression, as if he wants to say something, but decides against it and turns to start walking away. Tony feels a pain in his heart suddenly. This is the last time they'll ever see each other.

"Jack," he calls out softly, before he can stop himself. He turns around and gazes at Tony for a moment. Tony takes a moment to gain control of his voice and make sure that it doesn't crack. "Be careful," and wishes deeply that he knew Jack would be ok. Jack lifts the corner of his mouth slightly.

"Yeah," he responds. "You too. Thank you both for everything." He smiles at Michelle and shakes Tony's hand. Michelle watches their entire exchange, and Tony can tell from her eyes that she wants for them to say more to each other. To express their emotions once in their lives. I have seen Jack's wall break down, he wants to say. I do know what lies beyond the exterior. But he's afraid that he'll turn around to tell Michelle this, and when he turns back, Jack will be gone without a goodbye.

Jack looks at both of them one last time, and then walks away. He disappears from sight behind a collection of crates stacked haphazardly together. Tony tells himself that the wetness in his eyes is from the acrid smoke surrounding the train yard, that it's just the smog.

That's all it is.

**II. Time post Jack's death: 15 minutes **

As he picks up the phone and hears, "Mr. President, it's Jack Bauer," he realizes that there would never be a time when he felt more relief.

"You threaded the eye of the needle," he responds warmly. Thank god Jack made it out safely. Just imagining if he had actually been killed in the escape attempt makes his heart freeze.

"I had some help, sir," Jack replies. He pauses. "I wanted to thank you for advising me of the situation. Mr. President, you saved my life." As you have done so many times before, Jack, he wants to say. This was only my trying to help you do the same thing. But if he brings that up, there will be too many memories. Good ones, which Jack can't afford to think about if he wants to survive. So instead he brings their minds back to the topic he was trying not to think about.

"I'm only sorry it came to this," he says, and hates himself for it. If he hadn't asked Jack to go into the Chinese Consulate, none of this would have happened. There wouldn't be a need for him to save Jack's life. This can't even be counted as saving Jack's life as he was the one who put the threat on Jack's life.

"Me too, sir. I just wanted to let you know that I was out," Jack says. There is only a hint of emotion in his tone, but he would not expect anything more.

"I'm glad." There is an unidentifiable lump in his throat as he says, "This is the last time we'll probably ever speak." Silence reigns on the other side of the line as well. He takes a deep breath and continues; this needs to be said: for himself as well as Jack. "Jack, you do understand when you hang up, for all intents and purposes, Jack Bauer is dead."

From anyone else being told that they had to 'die', he would have heard crying, or they would just be too upset to respond. But Jack knows his duty and embraces it. Automatically, without skipping a beat, he replies "I understand that, sir," and then says, "Mr. President, it's been an honor." And he knows that this is the last thing he'll ever hear Jack say. That one sentence, to sum up everything they've been through together. Every crisis, every death. He tries to pick an equally moving closing statement, as if it was a speech, but this is not a crowd of people he is talking to. This is his best friend, the one person he can count on.

"Same for me, my friend," is all he can manage, and hopes it was good enough.

**III. Time post Jack's death: 25 minutes **

On the way home, each red light seems longer than it should be. She and Tony sit in silence, not sure what to say. Do they talk about Jack? Do they talk about their relationship? Should they begin discussing all the issues they have are get right to the declarations of love? Michelle stares at her reflection in the side mirror, twirling a strand of her pin straight hair. It's not her. But then again, she hasn't felt like herself since she left Tony.

She feels his eyes on her as she runs through this inner monologue. He smirks slightly. "So, are the curls going to come back or am I going to have to get used to this new you?" She bites her lip softly. "You don't want to know her. She's the me without you." He glances up to make sure the light is still red, and then takes her hand.

"I love you, you know," he says fervently, and she believes him. "I never stopped. Tomorrow we can start discussing everything, but tonight I just…I just want to enjoy that fact that we're going home together." Is this what floating feels like? She wonders. Because it sure as hell feels like it. She grins widely at him and grips his hand tightly as the light turns green.

As they walk through the door to the house he hasn't been to in months, Tony turns to her suddenly and says, "Kim." Michelle's feeling of buoyancy suddenly dies down.

"What do we….do we tell her that he's dead?" Tony nods gravely. "It's for her own safety," he tells her, repeating it for himself as much as for her. "Her own safety." She sits down on the couch and stares at her hands, as Tony picks up the phone and dials. She doesn't want to hear Kim's reaction when she finds out. In the background, she vaguely surmises that Tony is talking to Chase instead and she breathes a sigh of relief that they aren't the ones who have to inform her that both of her parents are dead. Tony comes and sits down next to her.

"We're going over to Kim and Chase's tomorrow," he tells her. "I didn't want to explain the circumstances of his death over the phone." She nods and takes his hand again. She never wants to let go, for if she does, she's afraid he'll slip away again.

"I should be thinking about Kim and Jack now…" she mumbles. Tony lifts her head up until her eyes meet his. They are filled with shame. He taps her on the nose. "But all you can think about is us." She nods and rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm an awful person." He shakes his head. "Definitely not. But, if you are? That makes two of us. I won't be able to stop thinking about Jack, but I'm here with you now. And that's more than I could have ever asked for." He smiles at her and they lay on the couch together in a comfortable silence.

I'm finally home, she thinks. And then refuses to let herself think any longer.

**IV. Time post Jack's death: 45 minutes**

"You're the cutest baby in the world! Yes you are! Oh, yes you are!" Kim laughed as she played with Angela; the baby stared up at her and cooed. Her bright blue eyes shined brightly in the direct sunlight.

The sound of a door opening behind her made Kim glance over at it. Chase came out onto the patio. He wasn't looking directly at anything, just staring mindlessly at the ground. His brow was furrowed in confusion as he sat down in a lawn chair next to her. Kim tilted her head and studied him.

"Chase? Is everything ok?" He slowly lifted his head to gaze at her. Her mouth parted slightly and a breath escaped her lips as she took in his almost haunted expression. His glance shifted away from her again.

"That was Tony," he said in a dull monotone. "Jack's…Jack's not here anymore." Her breath caught in her throat.

"Not here anymore..as in…" He looked up at her quietly without saying anything.

"You mean, like, an undercover mission? Like Mexico?" She asked hopefully, her voice catching in her throat and clouding over with tears. Chase stroked the back of her hand once. He exhales quietly before responding. His eyes are wide with unshed tears. "No. I'm so sorry, but he's dead."

She stopped processing the thought of breathing. Her hand slipped off of Angela, but Chase caught her before she hit the ground. Her throat suddenly felt like there was a wall inside, she couldn't breathe. All she wanted to do was cry but she couldn't. The tears couldn't break through. Distantly Kim heard Chase's voice calling out to her.

"Kim? Can you hear me? Sweetheart?" In response, she shook her head emphatically off to the side, not even able to hold it up straight. She tried to stand up and run inside, but her legs were too shaky. They failed her and she sank down to the grassy lawn. Chase knelt down beside her and bit his lip as she screamed.

She stayed in the same position, kneeling down on the grass screaming her lungs out, for three hours. She kept screaming until her voice became so hoarse that no sound came out anymore. Her dad was gone. He was gone. Just…not coming back. She took a deep breath and looked up with Chase, who had sat there on the ground with her for all those hours.

"I'm tired," she whispered quietly, her voice ragged. He nodded, and picked her up. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. He slowly carried her into the house, the door shutting quietly behind them. There was nothing but silence in the backyard, as if no one had ever been there.

**V. Time post Jack's death: 50 minutes (Audrey)**

The beating water coming down from the shower head was a welcome pain. She wanted to forget this day, this horrible day where everything fell apart. She now knew what it felt like to be on the front lines of a crisis at CTU, and all she wanted to do was go home. She didn't belong there, fighting. She belonged in DC, where she could sit at a table and give advice rather than take part in the field operations.

It's why she and Jack couldn't be together. She thought that she fell in love with a person who was sweet, kind, and gentle, and then discovered that he never existed at all. There was a pile of ashes left behind from this person, and out of the dust emerged a killer. She couldn't imagine him with any feeling at all. This person who she didn't know murdered the person who, she discovered later, she was actually in love with. The person whom she still cared about more than life itself.

She sank down to the slick floor and rested her head against the wall. She couldn't tell if the water droplets running down her face were tears or the spray. She missed Paul. She missed the person who used to be Jack, but she didn't really miss him at all. She couldn't grieve for everyone at once, so she chose the most important one.

Jack killed Paul. She never really knew him at all.

**VI. Time post Jack's death: One hour (Chloe)**

"Edgar Stiles." There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Hello?" he repeated.

"You know what, this was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have called." He recognized the voice the minute she spoke.

"No, wait, Chloe? What's wrong?" She sighed. "It doesn't matter, I'm going."

"I can't just let you go, you called for a reason. Is this about Jack?"

"Well, obviously! He just died!" Edgar held the phone away from his ear for a minute while she burst out. "I'm sorry, Chloe. Really. I know you must be upset."

"Yeah, well." He could picture the corner of her mouth turning up for half a second in a wan smile.

"So…why did you choose to call me?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I…just…god, Edgar, why do you have to ask so many questions?" Her voice went up dangerously high and cracked on the last word. "I don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't call my best friend, he's married to Jack's daughter and Tony probably already called her and she's emotional so I have to wait a while before calling him. Tony and Michelle are all happy-reunion-y so I can't bother them. I can't talk to anyone at CTU, I don't know them very well. People who I know better who used to work at CTU won't want to hear from me. So basically, you're it." He didn't know why that last statement made his eyes sting.

"Your last resort, because no one else likes you, you mean," he bit back.

"Yes, ok? Yes. Everyone else hates me and otherwise I'm just going to be sitting here in the house crying alone. He's gone. I'm never going to see him again. I'm never going to hear from him again. Oh god, I'll never hear his voice again! He probably won't be able to call me from where he's going?" Edgar suddenly lowered his brows in confusion.

"From where he's going? Chloe, he's dead! You mean call you from heaven or hell or the afterlife?" He heard her begin to hyperventilate before exclaiming, "Damnit!" and hanging up quickly. He always thought she was strange.

Chloe covered both her hands with her mouth while rocking back and forth on the couch. She knew she would somehow screw this up. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. It had only been an hour, and yet she missed him more than she ever thought she would. They hadn't been that close…right? She had been the only person at CTU he couldn't truly trust and he was the only one she had trusted, but that was it.

Oh god, why couldn't he come back? For some reason, she just needed him there with her.


End file.
